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The Journey of a Life Long Stutterer
publication date: Apr 18, 2009
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author/source: John Fredericks / Publisher / President
 "You had me at hello." A classic line from the movie, "Jerry McGuire."
That was certainly easy for her to say. As for me, well, that is not quite the case. Today I am a journalist, a sales executive and a broadcaster on Beaconcast.com (gasp). These are all professions that require me to communicate effectively with many different groups of people every day. I am in daily situations where I am forced to articulate my thoughts and questions in person or on the telephone in a concise and coherent manner. I have to speak to perform my job. For those of you haven't spoken to me, I stutter. I have battled the affliction my whole life.
The interesting aspect is that most people who we read about today who stuttered as a youth are now noteworthy and accomplished speakers or famous media personalities like retired news anchorman Tom Brokaw and actor Nicholas Brandon - who once stuttered (past tense). At some point they emerged from their adversity and went on to do great things. The anomaly for me is that I still stutter today, and at 51 years old, it looks like it's here to stay.
I have stuttered from the day I have remembered attempting to speak. As an adolescent, my speech was so disjointed I went literally years in between completing full sentences. In the days before answering machines, I couldn't answer the telephone (alas, ‘hello' was a very tough word for me, so the Jerry McGuire quote is particularly poignant). I was in my late teens before I could order in a restaurant and I was in my early thirties before I could even attempt to introduce myself (I still have trouble saying my name in any public setting today).
Naturally, I went through years of ‘stutter therapy' - all with therapists who meant well but had no clue - and made no impact. With little improvement, I just went about my life navigating through this relatively minor mishap (it is more of an inconvenience really) and, of course, avoiding any and all situations that would ever force me to speak. My stutter, which I had reconciled in my mind, eventually took control of every single aspect of my life. Every choice I made was influenced by my speech impediment.
During high school, I would never answer a question. I started every college class the same way, by handing a note to my professor on the first day that went something like this: "I stutter. Please don't call on me, I will not answer. If you do so, you will waste class time. I will sit in the front row, take notes, study, and get an ‘A' or ‘B'. Thanks".
My first career was as a racehorse trainer. There was not a lot of dialogue going on there, unless I happened to come across Mr. Ed.
Then one day my speech therapist told me about a weekend retreat outside of Philadelphia for adults who stutter. She really encouraged me to attend, saying there were many forums and workshops that might benefit me, as well as give me the opportunity to meet new friends.
Every one of the people I had met let their stutter dominate most aspects of their lives. To a "normal" person, they were hermits, or withdrawn; stuck in jobs they didn't want, didn't like or didn't aspire to. The vast majority of the attendees were not married, and few had any relationships. In reality, they were solemn, melancholy and troubled. Most of all they had allowed this relatively non-binding handicap to stand in the way of their life's dreams, whatever they might be.
I decided at that point to attempt to blaze a different path - and make my living through speaking. The journey has been tough, but the real story here is the grace - and patience - that so many people have shown me throughout my life's pursuits. My "cure" is not physical - it is personal - and comes through the goodwill of so many who have touched my life in such an incredibly positive way.
Even this week, during an interview with Congressman Tom Price, as pressed for time as he was, he patiently waited for me to get my questions out.
My life lesson is that at the end of the day, regardless of what obstacles one may face in their own journey, it is people and their benevolence that carry you through. This is one of the many reasons why I love our country so much. Our culture is unique in its undying grace. It's America.
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